Free Love (minus the Love)
This morning as I sweated Sauv Blanc under the direction of my thirty something Soul Cycle instructor, I thought to myself, if the 60s could see the TwentyTeens, they would be proud. The class this morning was comprised mostly of over-sexed single hungover people who probably should not have been attempting a bicycle seat. 90%, yes 90, of my friends are divorced, widowed, or otherwise single. We have never laughed more, “loved” more, imbibed more or cried more. One of my friends lost her husband to cancer in June. She was the most proper friend I had. She shuddered when I swore, judged who I dated, and loved her husband with everything she had. Unlike most of my tribe, she still believed in marriage. After the grieving process had started to subside, what she calls the “widow gone wild” phase began. From the proverbial ashes emerged a giggling, partying profanity popping person. Phoenix, you dirty bird you. But here’s the thing – if it weren’t for our children, we would be one cliff away from a Thelma and Louise. Because behind every laugh is a little Robin Williams inside us all. When I first got divorced I told my therapist I was going to lose it and he laughed at me. He said, “Sorry, you don’t get to fall apart, and besides, it’s not your style. Just keep going.” So my tribe and I have been doing just that. We are having a lot of what I call Facebook Fun. Our posts show an enviable non-stop lifestyle. Its fun, but truth be told I miss being married. During class today I mourned my not so sexy Sunday routine of sleeping in and shopping at Target. The harder I pedaled, the sadder I became. Now, if you haven’t been to Soul Cycle, its a about a buck a minute to ride a bike to a beat in the dark while a hot perky person motivates you with inspirations and threats. Today, Ms. Soul Cycle urged us to look forward. “Keep going. Don’t look back,” she said, “You aren’t going that way.” Fifty years after the summer of love, here we are in the winter of none. Thank God that in Soul Cycle, your feet are locked into the bike, and your bike is locked into the floor because you can’t fall off, and you cant fall apart. You just have to keep going.