Where is the art of Wooing?
Have you met my boyfriend? He is no one in particular, but a symbol of many of the men that I (and most of my friends) have dated since divorce. His name is Luke. Luke Warm. Luke doesn’t do ‘woo’. Luke doesn’t call very often. Luke does not send flowers. Luke introduces his dates as, “my friend” and rarely accepts or extends invitations as a “Plus 1” to weddings, school parties, family functions, holiday dinners, work events, and other intimate settings that imply coupling. His date requests are usually last minute, and cancellations can be expected.
Don’t get me wrong, Luke is a great guy! Luke is really fun to go out (or go home) with. Luke is charming and buys dinner and sends sexy texts after a few glasses of wine. He is kind and he is a great kisser. But Luke avoids the “L” word and the term Girlfriend.
Why? Because Luke isn’t Smitten. He is Luke Warm.
My friends (mostly the single ones) say it is because I don’t play hard to get. I need to let Luke chase me. Please, please tell me I don’t have to play games to fall in love again. Perhaps Luke is “Just not that into me” as one of my favorite books suggests. Maybe Luke really is too busy for a girlfriend. Or it is possible that Luke is just an idiot and doesn’t realize what he is missing out on. Yes, I will go with that one.
So, why doesn’t anyone Woo anymore? I suppose The Mysteries of Love and Eloquence; or the Arts of Wooing and Complementing might have fallen out of fashion since it was published in London in 1658. Miriam says Woo is: to try to make (someone) love you. I think Ms. Webster has it wrong. You shouldn’t have to ‘make’ someone love you.
During my research I stumbled (aka Googled) upon a modern book aptly named, The Art of Wooing. It was published in 2007 but last year a new version was released in the form of mixed media art and poetry with a story told through email exchange. The author, Kaz Brecher, defines it the following way:
“As I have come to understand it, the real “art of wooing” in this day and age is not about manipulation or trickery. Instead it involves the art of communication, the art of taking chances, the art of being real with other people..”
FINALLY! Someone understands. I hope it isn’t a dying art. I want some woo too!
Luke, I will truly miss you. Thank you for the laughs and the liquor, but I’m holding out for love.