My Son’s Sister
Post-divorce, anniversaries are a thing of the past, but the milestones keep coming. My latest wasn’t a big one – in that it was a little one. The father of my child had a baby. With someone else. My son has a sister but I don’t have a daughter and it’s all very confusing. Especially because I was that baby. My father had kids, and then he got divorced, and then he met wife 2.0 who wanted baby 1.0. And along came me. While his ex and his kids were dealing with a broken family, he and the replacement (my Mom) had a nice new family (Me). When exes move on, sometimes the previous administration finds solace in resenting the replacement. (I can’t because my ex’s wife/son’s step mother is really nice.) But nobody can resent a baby! Right? Babies are wonderful and yummy and sooo innocent. One of the ways to come to terms with divorce (or any change/adversity) is realizing that resilience isn’t optional. Unfortunately, sometimes neither is resentment. I never thought my siblings resented me until my father got old – really old – and they decided he wasn’t their responsibility, let alone his replacement wife. Maybe they are getting back at me? Getting back at him? Who knows? Through the journey of divorce, I have been determined to stay on the high road despite the road blocks and speed bumps. So, I bought my son’s sister a baby present. A really nice one that I put a lot of thought into, and that I knew ‘they’ would like. Like the wedding gift, they didn’t acknowledge it. Probably because they choose not to acknowledge me. I’m sure they are hoping that I will just go away. (Any divorced person who says they never once wished their ex would disappear/die is lying.) However, I am not going away, so all I can do is try to deal with it and make it as easy for all of them so that one day my son and his sister won’t be dealing with the aftermath of decisions their parents made a long time ago. Resentment is not an option for me. I don’t have a husband. Or even a real boyfriend. But I have a wonderful son and he has three parents who love him. And now, he has wonderful sister.