Lean On

I always tell my son, “No school night sleepovers”, but this week I broke the rule – twice. Not for him, for me. And not with men. Tuesday night I was feeling blue, so one of my dearest divorced friends invited me over, offered me a shoulder, and her son’s empty room. (I also helped myself to his aging Halloween candy which provided much comfort.) Last night, I joined another girlfriend for a holiday party, and since I NEVER drink and drive, I spent the night in her guest room and left in her shoes this morning. I know where the coffee filters are and which drawer the pajama pants are in. I recently purchased a ‘player pack’ of toothbrushes for my girlfriends in need for forty-something slumber parties at my place. I assume this particular phenomenon is exclusive to women. I can’t picture a single dad calling his buddy and saying, “Hey Mike. I’m lonely. Want to come over, put on some sweat pants, share a bottle of wine and watch a movie on the couch?” That said, men and women who find themselves suddenly single are going to have empty spaces left in their lives. I find solace in filling these voids with my amazing friends. This fall I wrote a blog about “Leaning in” – a current buzz word from the bestselling book, and a necessity of post-divorce life. What I am realizing now, is the one thing more important than leaning in, is leaning on. Life is difficult. Divorce or no divorce. We are living in challenging, changing times. Not to whine as I know how very lucky I am, but it’s still really fucking hard. I’d love to fall apart, but I have a kid, a job, and responsibilities – so resilience isn’t optional. I’ll keep leaning in to my life, leaning on my friends and with a few extra toothbrushes – I’ll be just fine.

13. December 2013 by GenerationExGirl
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