Destination after the Diamond?

Occasionally I stray from my promise to keep the blog funny and free of bitter. Last week, one of my divorced friends told me to move on – and stop pitying the past.  He then said, out loud, what many think but don’t dare to repeat. “Are you kidding?” He asked. “Post divorce life and joint custody is the perfect set up.  When I have my kids, I get them just to myself and I have the best quality time I have ever spent with them without the tension of a bad marriage.  And when I don’t have my kids, well it’s all about me – guilt free.  I can drink, work out, stay out, have sex, whatever.  I’m so happy.”   As his words sank in, I realized that the past 24 months have been two of the best worst years of my life.  And while I’m finally past the pity party,  I’m not really ready to face the future either.  That was the witch in the woods that led me to marry – the idea that the future was synonymous with forever, and that marriage was the ultimate destination.  Little did I know I was only at the trailhead. Life and marriage don’t come with directions, and divorce was right there in my path but I didn’t see it – or chose not to.  I remember the day I got engaged, looking down at that deceiving diamond and thinking happily ever after had finally begun.  My bad.  Do I sometimes still fantasize about that euphoric feeling of hope? And the instinctual giddiness in the female DNA of wearing an SUV priced ring on your left hand? Of course.  And to answer the question everyone seems to be asking me lately – will I get married again? I might. Not knowing what lies/lurks ahead scares the shit out of me.  But…to string a few overused but accurate mantras together –  what I need to do right now is live in the moment, live each day as if it were my last, and look forward to whatever lies ahead on my journey.  I promise to take copious notes and share the tales of my adventures with you.  Stay tuned…

 

26. March 2012 by GenerationExGirl
Categories: Figuring It Out, Moving Out & Moving On | Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *