V.D. – an aptly named holiday
Since tomorrow is February 14th, I should probably dedicate this week’s blog to the quintessential hallmark holiday. Raise your hand if you are psyched about Valentines day! Thought so. Fuck cupid. Wikipedia says Saint Valentine’s day was established in 496 AD, and then deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. Personally, I think Paul was on the right track. Several sources credit King Henry VIII as declaring February 14th a holiday. Henry had six wives, two of which he beheaded. How romantic. Some scholars say Chaucer is responsible for the first sappy poem which kicked off the card craze. Others connect V.D. with a pagan Roman ritual involving a she-wolf named Lupa. 145 years ago NECCO convinced us to buy (and eat!) tiny colored heart candies that taste like dried up toothpaste bearing cutesy sayings like “Dear Heart” and “Soul Mate”. Barf. Whatever the origin, it is just one more holiday to test us during the aftermath of divorce. Somehow we made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas – the ultimate celebrations of family. We even survived New Year’s Eve with a universal toast of “2012 has to suck less than 2011!” Fortunately the next official holiday to conquer is St. Patrick’s day, a holiday centered on the Irish drinking habit. Rumor has it there is one before that – March 13 – which is apparently Steak and Blowjob day. Hmm… think a guy came up with that one? Singles Awareness Day (“SAD”) has its own facebook page, and offers an alternative for February 14. I say for those of us dreading tomorrow’s festivities of flowers, that we observe Divorce Day. Everyone who hasn’t gone through a divorce has to buy drinks (or cupcakes) for everyone who has. Instead of focusing on our failures, we can celebrate our resiliency in the spirit of Pope Paul, King Henry, Chaucer, and Lupa the she-wolf. To those of you who have found love again, forgiven your ex, and moved on past the pain – Happy Valentine’s day. Please send recipe. And cupcakes.