“How are you?”
This is the mother of all rhetorical questions. When experiencing a divorce or a break up, how do we answer the question? Do we try to be positive?
“Omg. Its amazing! Its an appetite suppressant, a budget, and ipecac syrup all rolled into one!”
“I never knew how liberating it could be losing my spouse/significant other, my stuff and my soul!”
“Vacations to Hawaii are overrated. My lawyer needs this money more than I do.”
Or you could try honesty…
“This constant crushing pain in my chest and bile in my throat is so god awful that I sometimes I wish I were dead or back in my horrid blood-sucking marriage/relationship.”
That probably isn’t going to get you invited to the next dinner party. So, with the exception of a few true and patient friends, we answer to most with, “I’m fine.” Fine translates into, “This is so much worse than I could have ever imagined but I will get through it.” “Fine” says “I’d like to just escape and while the thought of sucking on a tailpipe has crossed my mind, its not a viable solution.” “Fine” means “I’m going to go (run/ride/drink/date/work/worry) to keep my mind off it until I can finally face it.” Somewhere down the divorce road..someone will ask us how we are, and with a big Cheshire smile and slightly wine-stained teeth, we will say “I’m fine.” and we will mean it.