GenerationEx Girl is a single 40 something working mom who learned to get through the darkness of divorce with dignity, humor, and the support of her tribe. The purpose of the GenerationEx blog is to offer share stories on surviving singledom and hopefully inspire laughter.
A Cook in the Kitchen and Whore in the Bedroom
As promised after 2 weeks of serious blog topics, Happy New Year! This week’s is about SEX. (Mom, don’t read this one.) Ask anyone, “What is constantly on the mind of an 18 year old male?” Everyone knows that one. But what is on the mind of a 40 something divorced/single woman? The same thing but ten-fold. Who knew? My first clue was when I was invited to the home of a neighborhood divorce’ for a “Tupperware Party”. There was no Tupperware in sight, but no shortage of appliances. I walked into her living room naively and on top of her piano, interspersed with the pictures of her children, were samples of the “wares” to be sold that evening. Right next to the photo of the kids with Mickey Mouse were the latest models of the “Dolphin” and the “Rabbit”. Family pictures outnumbered by “Passion Party” products. I realized I would not be going home with a new set of freezer-safe lunch containers. Now that I am surrounded by single divorced friends, I see they have all seemingly graduated from the kitchen to the bedroom. One of my divorced guy friends put it best when he said “According to my divorce lawyer, my ex-wife isn’t actually a whore. She is just going through the PDFF.” What is PDFF you ask? “Post Divorce Fuck Frenzy”. And let me tell you – its not just women. My ex went there first. I know because I went to my/his (our) house right after I moved out to get my reading glasses. I opened my/his (her?) night stand drawer. Glasses gone. Chapstick gone. No torn out magazine recipes I will never make. Nope. Just a tube of personal product that was not toothpaste. I thought about what to do. Take it and leave my business card? Hot sauce? Facebook? No..good for him for having sex. So I closed the drawer, went back to my rental house, and cried. The last time I was single my goals were a wedding dress, Williams Sonoma, pricey party, pregnancy, and happily fucking ever after. So what are we looking for the second (or third) time around when we already have offspring and a panini press? Sex and companionship for starters. Girlfriends are awesome – but not to sleep with. Unless perhaps a guy is involved and that is another blog topic. So how do we navigate our way through this phase (or frenzy) of the newly single life? With the right discussions, precautions, and expectations in place. Practice safe sex and be careful not to confuse sex with love. Sex might lead to love (or vice versa). But it might not. So if you are going through the aforementioned “Post Divorce Frenzy”, the good news is that you are not a whore. Bad news? Not necessarily a girlfriend either. Where does that leave us? Somewhere between the Dolphin and Disney World.
