WanderLost

Earlier this week I was having one of those “dark divorce days”, and if you have gone through a divorce, you know what I’m taking about. These moments, or days, are like contractions (if you have given birth you get this too). They hit you hard, it hurts like hell, and somehow you get through it. Resilience really isn’t optional, you have no choice but to push through it. When the contraction or the dark day ends, you know another one is coming, but you take each one at a time, knowing eventually it will all be over. So unless someone invents a divorce “epidural” (and that would be a very rich someone) I know I just have to suck up the pain. Friends are constantly asking me, “How are you possibly handling all of this?” As I drove home from work Friday and the week long divorce contraction was ending, I stared blankly at the Prius in front of me and the bumper sticker which said “Not all who wander are lost”. And it hit me..it is also true that “Not all who are lost wander”. Because on these dark days, while I want to fall apart.. or go postal.. or snap.. or lose it.. or do whatever it is you do when you just can’t take it anymore – I don’t. Because I can’t. If I did, it would jeopardize all the things that are good in my life. And just as it is true that resilience isn’t optional, resentment is – not just for divorce, but any tough card that life deals you. Trying to hold my head high, I continue on the path. I may not know where it will lead, but I know I’m on the right path. So I forge ahead, wondering but not wandering.

05. December 2011 by GenerationExGirl
Categories: Figuring It Out | Leave a comment

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