The Ascent to the Bottom
Ok, most of the time I am a smart ass. Maybe even witty, depending on your perspective. But I warned you, I’m also a little dark. You could probably tell from the heart and crossbones logo. And the black picket fence. And maybe I’m just writing dark right now because I’m on a plane drinking a glass of wine watching a Woody Allen movie where Owen Wilson is a hopeless romantic from another era which is just wrong. Anyway, back to the bottom. As I sit here with one eye on the movie and one hand on the bad glass of Cab, contemplating the happily ever aftermath of divorce, I have an a-ha moment. And here it is…The climb to the top is uncertain. You may reach it, you may not. BUT! The spiral downward is different. Because with certainty, you will eventually hit the ground. Gravity. Inertia. Simple physics, right? If you are headed towards the bottom, you’ll get there. Now according to my loose interpretation of the principle of escape velocity, it is possible that despite the speeding downward trajectory – you can actually outrun (or outsmart) gravity. Once in a while it happens – a gust of wind, or a super hero who swoops in and rescues you at the last moment just before you crash. But if you aren’t saved, and you do hit bottom, the good news is – there is nowhere to go but up. So, as I experience the freefall of divorce, I suddenly feel the “free” and not just the fall. I decide to let go… to relax… and to just fall. Maybe I will fall down. Maybe I will fall apart. Or maybe, just maybe, someday – I will even fall in love again.