How To Date A Divorced Mom
This one is for the men, and its only one opinion, but it was based on the input of a tribe of divorced moms so I’m confident it’s fairly accurate. So, men – if you find a divorced mom and you would like to date, and possibly, maybe (gasp) form a relationship with her, the following tips may be helpful:
1) Ask her out. If you like her, make a date (the 1st or the 27th time). If you haven’t made a “next date” with her, she will assume it’s the last and move onto the next guy. So communicate! YouTube clips of Caddy Shack and texts don’t count. Follow up must involve future plans (in person) with a place and a specific time. (“Let’s have coffee sometime” doesn’t count either.)
2) Plan ahead. Grown women don’t sit around waiting for your call (anymore). Ok, maybe we obsess about it, and worry about it, but rest assured we will fill that empty void of time. There is plenty to fill the time slot with – kids, work, friends, and life’s other callings and commitments (like wine, yoga, skiing, and…) And please be considerate – confirm before the date.
3) Call her. Texting and emailing are nice so she knows you are thinking about her – but pick up the damned phone.
4) Woo her. Flowers, jewelry, cards, compliments, or just plain (free) chivalry…as your mom always said, it’s the thought that counts.
5) Have the uncomfortable conversation. If you don’t want her to date other people, you need to say that. If you don’t, she will keep looking and another buyer may swoop in. And if you do decide you want her to see you exclusively, it means you can’t see other people either. (Yes, “Seeing” includes “Sleeping with”)
6) If it doesn’t work out, man up. Exit gracefully, be kind, and give a reason. Don’t just stop calling. Please, make a pact with other men to never, ever ‘just stop calling’. It’s a wussy way out. And don’t do what women often do either (make up something which we think is less hurtful than “I just don’t like you.”) Some examples are “I’m just not ready for a relationship”, “I’m not over X”, “I’m back with X”. We should all agree to just have the balls to say, “I really enjoyed getting to know you but, I just don’t think it’s a fit.”